Thoughts

Introduction

My name is Antoine Bergerault and I've been asking myself a lot of questions over the last few years. I am writing this article for a simple reason: these questions are important to me, and I want to share my thoughts with those who might want to read them. While the ideas that follow may be interesting to some, I think the thoughts you may have about yourself will be more interesting. I humbly invite you to play this game. There is no guide, the questions have no specific objective. They are proposals to try out ways of thinking, made by a student.

Now and beyond

We all have life goals. Not having goals is a goal in itself. We may want to just pass the time, live quietly, basically, live our life. Of course, there are constraints, rules to respect, and fortunately so. But the objectives of life should not be universal. I have a goal, surely different from many of my acquaintances, and that's all. What I mean here is that you shouldn't try to be number one for this or that, but rather know what you want. What you really want, not what others want from you, or what others want for themselves. This is not an invitation to be selfish, to ignore others, but rather an invitation to clarify one's personal life goals.

How not to regret anything? This is a complicated first question. Regret and remorse are unpleasant views of our past, which sometimes take on irrational proportions. I think I have found a key point in my answer: don't let our fear limit us. I'm not talking about a huge fear, but the fear of everyday life, the fear of going out of our comfort zone, the fear of daring, the fear of the unknown. In fact, the fear of change. Today I live very well, I am fully happy and I say to myself: how would my life have been if I had not dared to change? It would have been very different; not catastrophic, but different. I would not have failed in my life, but I would not have had the same opportunities. I have had regrets in the past, of course, and I think that dealing with fear (and life in general) in a positive way is really an asset. An asset for our own happiness, an asset to not regret, an asset for others. Seeing life as a game, as a game of Monopoly: of course there is luck in it, but we are here to play. It's easy to say for me, who is currently writing these lines, it's not necessarily easy to read, I certainly know that. There are things that happen in a lifetime (who am I to talk about that?) that are beyond our control. Independent of our will. In other words, it is not our actions that directly involve them, it is not our fault. In this case, let's step back, meditate a bit, and continue playing.

The key to happiness is also not to think about it. Let's avoid overthinking and lets play smart, but let's play. Why should we live in a complicated way when we can live simply? Let's distance ourselves from what makes us bad. Life is already full of pretenses, of totally disinterested "how are you?", there is no point in burdening our heads with parasites.

What are we waiting for? Are we happy now or are we aiming for a future happiness? What is success, one's success?

What's going on?

Two years ago I identified 4 problems of our modern society which are for me the cause of many protests, of many debates not necessarily useful, and of many manipulations, misinformation and anger¹. Here is how I named them: Overappropriation, Oversimplification, Idea-theme confusion, Thinking-knowledge union.

• Over-appropriation: with the media and social networks, we can feel very close to the news. We can be impacted by the slightest news on the other side of the world: this is quite normal, it is our human empathy. Such complexity does not seem natural for humans. Things happen on different scales: although we live on a regional or national scale, the news is international. So, humans cannot project themselves and understand objectively the probabilities and the proportions of events. If we add to this the cognitive biases (unconscious) then it can quickly become anxiety-provoking.
• Oversimplification: we like to simplify things. Information passes better and circulates faster, but it is a rather dangerous process for its integrity. It also allows us to form ready-made ideas, to accentuate confirmation biases, and other phenomena that are quite harmful to fair, objective and balanced thinking.
• Idea-theme confusion: this point is very political, and I don't want to dwell on this aspect. First because I don't know much about it, and also because it is not the purpose of this article. But the idea is still there and exists in other contexts. It's a bit like the idea of "nothing is black and white". If I ask someone if they like strawberry cake, I don't ask them if they like strawberries. I ask them their opinion on a specific example of a strawberry dish. That's all I'm asking. And he can answer me simply, I don't have to extrapolate what he tells me and deduce whether he likes strawberries.
• Thinking-knowing union: it is sometimes easier or more elegant to say "I know" and not "I think". Even without realizing it after all. The following ideas are straight out of my Professional Speaking course. Facts are facts. Who cares about the opinion of someone who is not an expert? Let's give credit where credit is due, and not be disproportionately influenced by those who don't have any. For example, it might be interesting to know why many people still make the link between vaccines and autism. In 1998, a study was done showing, a priori, a direct link between the MMR vaccine and autism. However, the study was conducted on only 12 people, a small and very biased sample, which does not allow such a generalization. Other elements of this study are also questionable, and finally it was revealed that the whole process was fraudulent². Many people may have been misled by this study and by others who believed it. Nowadays, anyone is able to launch a small site called "Institute for Advanced Research in ..." from their garage. This shows how vigilant we must be when processing and internalizing information.

With all these ideas it may seem tempting to give up. Instead, let's see it as an opportunity to learn or re-learn about ourselves, how we function, how Humans function. Sociology is a human science that I find fascinating. The study of behavior in particular. We realize that we act far from our rational thoughts. This is something I find fascinating, as I, like many scientists, maintain an obsession with rational thinking (a particularity of enneagram type 5). I like to bring up cognitive biases to explain things, or at least to try to understand them. If you don't know this subject, I invite you to go and look at what it is, see the main biases and find examples for each.

Now let's try to analyze a little more what is happening in modern societies. We live in a time when our primary needs are more and more satisfiable. By this I mean: drinking water is accessible, food also to a lesser extent. So we naturally aim at going through the different levels of Maslow's pyramid³. Two examples that I can imagine are the following:

1. Personal achievement (selfie, TikTok, luxury, ...)
2. Advertising. Advertising is used to sell an image, a brand. Its product is almost secondary. What does this or that drink bring me? Not only sugar and acids, but also joy, freedom, sunshine, smiles... Is this a bad thing, I don't believe it is as such if the autonomy of people is respected. In this sense, subliminal images are forbidden in television commercials.

External judgments

Have you ever felt judged for no reason? Telling yourself that the logical thing to do is not necessarily the "normal" thing to do? Or simply limited yourself to conventional actions rather than trying to explore other solutions? In thinking about it, I came to a simple conclusion: I bet that in his time, Einstein was weird. Now almost everybody knows him, maybe a little less people know what he really brought to physics, but we almost all have an idea of the character. He was a brilliant scientist who greatly advanced science. Einstein is respected by many, and it is his difference that made his recognition. He is not like all scientists. And now, we can ask ourselves the question: is it by working like 80% of scientists that we will be able to become like 20% of those who contribute the most to their science? Is it by doing like everyone else that we can hope not to be like everyone else? This rhetorical question is not a miracle cure. It does not tell us that by "going blindly beyond the codes of this ultra-normalized society" we will end up being geniuses. I think this reflection is more about bringing a positive meaning to difference. If I am different from others, so much the better. There is no such thing as the average human, the one who passes all the norms. So let's accept our differences and see all the positive they can bring.

In the same way, we only need a few seconds to judge someone, that famous "first impression". I won't add anything more than what we can already hear here and there, that we have to be reasonably careful about the impressions we leave on others. I would like to point out that this observation of judgment also applies to ourselves. The thought I am developing may be ego-centric, but understanding ourselves better, judging ourselves better and behaving better can help us to help others. Knowing what is good for us and what can make us change is a plus when it comes to others. It is the instrument of a positive environment and warm, thoughtful sharing. The idea is to see ourselves the way we would like to see ourselves. One of my professors at Carnegie Mellon – formidable by the way – used to tell us "Don't see yourself as students, see yourself as professionals." Being professional means taking all the work seriously. It also implies, I think, a certain kind of humility. Humility in what you know, what you can do, and what you've already done. Why think this way? Well, not to become the archetypal student, without a valid reason. To justify one's actions and thoughts by the simple fact of being a student: "You suffer from depression? Welcome to student life", "You went to bed at 3:00 am today? That's super early, a record for this week," "I'm a student so I dress in jeans and sneakers." No, you don't have to relate to this out of habit, and because it's "the way it is". You don't have to restrict yourself and forget about rational choices. This positive thinking of seeing oneself as a professional does not exclude objective thinking, however. It is an perspective that one decides to take on things and on life.

Moving forward

This is where the reflection finally takes an important place, and it is difficult for me to give concrete and universal answers. We can try to avoid failure, in all the meanings we would like to give to this word, but how? I don't think this is possible in general. Can we educate ourselves to avoid more or less predictable failures? What is the limit of education? Can everything be taught? I don't think this can be the case. Some "failures" can be very useful and make us progress. And defining failure is not so simple. Just as our goals should not be dictated by others, our failures should not be either. Whether you consider an event a failure or a success is a matter of personal judgment. For example, when do we consider that we have "failed" an exam, a test, an experience?

The world in which we live is complex, the people we meet are complex. We evolve in this environment with this attachment to life and a certain perseverance in the things that drive us. We do sports, for ourselves, for others perhaps, we try to surpass ourselves and improve. I hope we try to give meaning to things. We are all different, we all have faults, and all this is necessary. This is what gives life its power, what makes us meet people, what makes us debate, think and innovate.